Sadness

Suddenly i feel so sad...dun know why i feel this way. Maybe, it's because the problem that i've been thru. I'm doin my best to solve my problem with my fiance. I think it will take me a little bit more time to let myself free. I feel sad because i have to let him go after 5 years relationship. I can't get along with him anymore. After wut i've been thru with him, i think i had enough with it. He's too depending on me too much. If i broke up with him soon, i hope he will understand why i'm doin this, hope that he can live without me by his side and really hope that he can forgive me for wut i've done to him. I'm really...really sorry.....

Recently, on the 3rd Jan, GG went to Philippines for shoots. She'll be there for 2 1/2 months. Huaaa....so longg.....Now, i think i missed her. Tomorrow, Sira will be goin to Philippines. So, left only me, anis and da dory. I'm gonna miss her. Miss both of them. For now, i dun have any job assignment. But, i think i'm gonna be assign with a new reality show coming up soon coz i'm gonna start pre-production by next week. I really hope i can go for my holiday vacation to Philippines on the 27th Jan with my friends. Hopefully i can go. I really need a break after all the hectic shoots and my personal problems.

Suratan Atau Kebetulan

Suratan Atau Kebetulan
( By Kenny, Remy & Martin )

Sesuatu yang tak disangka
Seringkali mendatangi kita
Itukah suratan dalam kehidupan
Atau sekadar satu kebetulan

Kita asyik membicarakan
Persoalan hidup dan pilihan
Serta kejujuran semakin berkurang
Masih tiada bertemu jawapan

Walau kita dihadapkan dengan berbagai pilihan
Mengapa sering terjadi
Pilihan tak menepati
Hingga amat menakutkan menghadapi masa depan
Seolah olah terhapus sebuah kehidupan yang kudus

Pertemuan sekali ini
Bagi diriku amat bererti
Tetapi ku bimbang untuk menyatakan
Bimbang kan berulang kesilapan

Happy New Year...

Happy New Year to all.

It's been months I haven't wrote anything in my blog. Hmmm....its been quite a year for me. I was busy with my shoots called Mat Dom Teksi ( 3rd & 4th Seasons ). It was a tension job to handle. But, i was proud, last year it self, Mat Dom Teksi won 3 awards. 1st was Anugerah Oskar ( won the best audio for MCP ), TV Asia Award ( Janet Khoo won the best actress for comedy ) and lastly Anugerah Skrin 2006 ( won the best comedy series ). After all that, now i know, the hard work that i've gone thru last year, means something to me. Eventhough my name was not mention in any of the competition, but to be one of the crew behind the scene enough to makes me proud to get involved in that project. Thanks to all of the production team, crew, casts and most important to the Director/Executive Producer ( Abg Lan ) and my boss ( Mr Eric Ong ). Congratulations to all!! Cheerrsss!!!

Another story....i've make a biggest mistake in my life recently. I was engaged to someone that i've known for 5 years. But, the problem is.....i know that i'm not in love with him anymore....but i accept to get engaged with him. WHY.....WHY...WHYYY!!!!!! Wut have i've done!!

Another thing is .... i'm in love with someone else now. He's the sweetest guy that i've ever met in my life. The best thing happend to me last year was....to know him and to love him with all my heart. But for now....how am i gonna settle my problem with my so called "fiance"? I dun love him but i do care for him, meaning care for him as my friend no more as my lover.

For now, i have to face the problem and try to make things right. It was a hard thing to do, but i have to face it. I have to tell him and his mother what i feel and hopefully he can accept it. I know, i will break his heart in to pieces and i really hope he can accept it. Not only that, to his mother....i'm really sorry for what i've done. I know i will break your heart too...but u have to understand why i have to do this. Please understand, i'm making this decision not because i'm in love with someone else, but....hopefully she will understand wut i've been gone thru with her son for the past 5 years. I'm really really sorry....

Unintentional Idiots

People can be stupid sometime. Including me. Don't know where i put my brains sometimes. Maybe unconscious action. I dont mean it. Really i dont mean it.

U never aware what u did wrong, until people offended with what u have done. The thing with people, they tend to avoid it, not to face it. Silence treatment is the best, but once u hurt again, u will burst.

For me, hopefully it's not to late. No tears could amend it. No words can make it right. I have to solve it before it become worst. Talk about it. Don't back mouth about it. But again idiotic circumstances happen without u notice it, because sometimes we don't know what the hell we doing.

And i dont know what im yapping about, but maybe u understand what i yapping about.
Do u?